Before It Rains
by Jetice
Summary: Envy slowly tears him apart... Will Time Lord ever be his?


Before It Rains ~Jetice  
  
What would you have done in my shoes?  
  
I was in the wrong place at the wrong time. Heading back from Shrike's library, I was stopped by a few kids. I wasn't really listening to what they had to say. Time Lord was on my mind that day. I had great books of knowledge to share with him. It had been two weeks since Lute had recruited him. Even then I didn't notice the passes that were going on. I was to busy thinking about how wonderful he was.  
  
I was left alone after a while. After the kids realized that I was totally unaware of them. My journey back to the Inn was the only command my body knew. I just had to see /him/. Do you think I am obsessed? I was questioning myself once I made it to the inn. Selfishly ignoring the Innkeepers greetings while I raced towards the stairs. I didn't see them at first, those gray clouds that suddenly showed up unannounced. Nor did I notice Time Lord's door closed, and Lute's wide open with him not present.  
  
And so it happened, without a single knock of respect I opened Time Lords door. And froze in pain when I saw them both, bodies engulfed within a lustful rage.  
  
Did /he/ not see me? Did he not care that I was trying to please him? I am such a fool. I am such a stupid fool. Yet I keep trying to win him over. Even though in his eyes he only sees Lute.  
  
And while I stood there feeling humiliated, my body had the audacity to keep me from moving. And thus my true feelings kick in. and in seconds I am shaking my head while I turn to leave the room. I am at the point of wishing; wishing that Lute was out of the picture and Time Lord was all to myself.  
  
It's not fair. It's never fair. Waking up during those early hours only to hear Time Lord with his pet, laughing to his music without a care in the world on how I might be feeling. Whether I am having trouble with sleeping, or just needing somebody to talk to.  
  
But that is all in the pass now. /That/ has nothing to do with what has turned me against them both.  
  
With the thought that I could never have him within my arms drew me into a silent fit. I distance myself from both of them. Betrayal was the only thing I could think about. Those times when I told Lute how Time Lord was somebody very special to me was a ticket to watching me fall.  
  
"Blue"  
  
Those times when I would try to bedazzle Time Lord while in battle, by showing him the different spells I had learned involving the flow of time itself.  
  
"..Blue."  
  
Those times I.."Yes?" I found comfort in creating an illusion of my feelings around Time Lord. Is it wrong to love?  
  
"Lute and I are going to Sei's Tomb. The Innkeeper has informed us that there are lost relics down there," His voice sends me over the emotional wall. And once again I am swooned by sheer words. "We would like it if you stayed here." And shot down like a damn bird.  
  
I struggle. I struggle hard. And finally force myself to give off a fake smile. I turn over within my deathbed to silently weep the tears that I refuse for him to see. He wastes no time in classifying my emotions into words. And I hear him call out to his /lover/ and within minutes- a check on weapons, a change of armor, and a fresh supply of items; they are gone.  
  
I toss and turn within my bed, rolling onto my back to face the ceiling. It's the ceiling I am always looking at lately. The ceiling I use to escape.  
  
I try to think about my own goals. How I am trying hard to become the great wizard. And how I need to kill Rouge. But how can one do such a thing within a group that has no reason for traveling? I sit up and slip on my shoes. The room seems lost without Lute's music- I like it like that.  
  
|Damn you Lute. Damn you for taking away the only person who I ever cared about. |  
  
My anger lifted my off the bed. And within minutes, I too was ready for the battles yet to come.  
  
A smile- fake smile was given to the Innkeeper as I paid in credit and checked the others and myself out of the Inn. I would have no regret for what I was thinking. Evil thoughts were coming at me from different angles and slowly I became confused. The thought that Time Lord would never be mine ran through my head, along with the vision of them both together.  
  
A few tears escaped from my eyes, smearing my make-up. Should I have to care about appearance?  
  
It was normal for me to feel the way I did, or so I thought. I had never had such a painful/exciting feeling within my heart at all. This was the first. Lack of forgiveness enveloped me once I finally reached them on the cliffs. I felt like shit; they had no intention on actually entering the tomb. They lay there on the grassy cliff, cuddled together. Was that laughter? I keep smiling for some strange reason, even though I am crying on the inside and out. "I loved you." The words flow softly, they don't even make it over to Time Lord- A breeze takes them away.  
  
"I love you." My words are repeated again, this time with a little force. They make it and stick. Lute is pushed away while Time Lord rises to his feet. His shirt is off; belt dangling loosely while his pants is undone.  
  
"I-I'm sorry. Its not what it seems." I realize that they knew not of what I had seen before. Of what lust could do to two people who weren't in love.  
  
My body moves forward and already I am in the forbidden stance to summon my realm magic. "I-I don't understand. I don't understand this feeling I have." Already Lute is hesitant.  
  
A strong breeze comes my way, followed by the sound of thunder and lighting. I am steady predicting rain.  
  
Lute unsheathes his sword and takes stance, "I don't know what are you plotting. S-stop."  
  
How dare he challenge somebody of my intelligence- Does he not know the power of magic? I'm quick to laugh. "Pain. Pain is what I am plotting."  
  
"What do you mean? Pain?" Lute gives me a strange look, but his sword is still unsheathed.  
  
Trees sway in the wind and leaves dance around the newly made battlefield. I happen to direct my eyes in Time Lords direction. He's already done fixing himself; he looks complete again.  
  
My will fights with me to drop my hands. I'm starting to forgive now. But not forget.  
  
"Blue."  
  
Time Lord wins me over. I am slowly walking towards him with a smile on my face and my arms wide open. Lute still has his sword drawn. I can sense his feelings. He knows what he must do in order to keep Time Lord. A cry is given off. And Lute is suddenly charging at me with his blade raised high. My eyes close. My lips quake. And my hands climb towards the heavens.  
  
I had summoned a spell.  
  
I don't know if Time lord was watching. I don't know if Time Lord heard Lutes screams. As the clear bubble compressed him down until he was nothing.  
  
I turn to face Time Lord. He is standing there with a blank look upon his face. I can see the fear in his eyes.  
  
Why didn't he run? Why didn't he fight back? I am at his side now with one hand in my pocket..  
  
|If. I cant have you. Then no one will. |  
  
I honestly can't tell what was on his mind when I pulled out that rune. The rune that would make sure that nobody else would ever take away my Time Lord. Already the rune had activated itself. And slowly my lovers' body was incased in a strange emerald cocoon. My lips took advantage of this moment and quickly stole a kiss. That was my mistake. Having just learned the spell, I was innocent of its true power. That kiss stole the curse. And I too became a living statue for all to see.  
  
My arms remained by their side, index finger and thumb still holding onto that rune. Why was I so foolish?  
  
I look up, for my final glance at my lover before I too am petrified. His face is stained with pain and hatred.  
  
And then the rain had begun to fall.  
  
|What would you have done in my shoes? | 


End file.
